Steak Lover's Nightmare Gifts

'Well you did say 'well done' Sir!'

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

T-Bones STEAK House...NO sissy salad bar!...Heimlich expert always on duty'

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

'Do you want your zebra de la margola rare, medium or well done?'

"How would you like your steak sir—really well done or raw? We've got a new chef."

What's your thumb doing on my steak? Want me to drop it again?

The Best Little Steak House in the City.

Honey are you in the mood to fleece a cow tonight

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

"I only recommend the 24 oz. Prime rib for big fat guys."

'Doctor please come quick! His fever has gone from medium rare to well done!'

'We saw the first robin...he saw the first London broil.'

"I was hoping Calvin would grow up to be top sirloin..."

'There was sizzle but no steak.'

"Some protein with my salad? Sure, put a 24 ounce Ribeye in it."

Elevator buttons : Rare, Medium, Well done.

Artist depicts cow as large steak.

'I asked for a rare steak and you certainly don't see many as BAD as this!'

'If you're worried what to say you do for a living at your reunion, just tell them you recently bought a large stake in a local brewery.'

'The chef says sorry but he doesn't do rare.'

'I always buy him the toughest, chewiest steak. It shuts him right up for half an hour.'

"One medium rare and one with honey."

"Heh, Trump likes his steaks well done with ketchup. Jesus."

Prime Meats.

"Kibbled, canned and frozen were non-starters. But he'll often accept a ice ribeye as long as it's been properly dry aged."

"Who gets the Chateaubriand with the mail-in rebate?"

"Your steak's prepared in the firebox of a 17th century tank engine - unfortunately sir, the chef can't confirm if it has 0-60T wheel arrangement or not."

Cooked rare.

"Just how rare is this steak..."

"Hmmm ... either my steak knife is broken, or you cooked the heck out of this fillet."

'My client, Skippy, is suing for a twenty-ounce sirloin, medium-rare.'