Staying Home Pillows

"Honey, … I'm still home..."

"Harold and I were staying home long before it was fashionable."

"This isn't working out, Henry...I'm a social butterfly and you're just an annoying little moth!"

'Son, the world is ripe for the taking ... you better stay home with me.'

I haven't been down there since last Valentine's day. I want to check on a couple who asked me to rekindle their romance. A year ago I told them that thanks to me they'd be spending more time together and less time at their offices. I said I'd make it so they'd have lots of nights at home ordering some take-out and watching a movie. They must be very happy with me. All I did was shoot an arrow of love, but apparently they think I caused some sort of pandemic to happen!

"Hibernate sounds better than binge watch."

"When you said this was our Forever Home, did you mean we'd be forever home?"

"For me the call of the wild goes straight to voicemail."

"I better get off the phone. It's almost time for my daily bout of quarantine induced panic and hysteria."

'I'm on a great career path that never leaves my apartment.'

Geography Test Today. I don't need to learn the state capitals -- I'm a stay-at-home sort of guy.

"Honey, you're doing that thing again where you stare into space and wonder how I talked you into leaving the house."

Instead of pretending we're not home, couldn't we just not do video chats?

"I was thinking we might staycation on the sofa."

Home Still Home

Safe Thanksgiving.

"Tonight, I was thinking we could run laps around the living room and then check out that Zoom standup show, but I'm open to other horrible ideas."

"I thought we could just stay home tonight and pupate."

Covid Inquiry / Enquiry

"That's our house, that's Mommy going to work, and that's you, staring out the window, wondering where it all went wrong."

"Honey, do these sweatpants make me look like I prefer we stay in tonight so I can watch the game?"

"It's an update from the people tracking us. According to this, we haven't gone anywhere or done anything."

"It's a new work-out video. It shows a mother chasing after three little children all day."

'That reminds me, the seat broke on mine. I must make time to get it repaired.'

'You'll never believe the day I've had...'

"On New Year's Eve, Clement and I stayed up all night drinking. Tea, of course."

Love is when you watch television together.

"I knew we agreed that you could be a stay-at-home dad, but that's when we decide to have children."

"There goes our early night."

'I'm tired of roaming the earth. Can we just stay home tonight?'

'sugar and spice my eye.'

Keeping occupied in lockdown

"Look at the state of this place! Don't you ever use that thing to sweep up?!"

"Darling! We've become armchair socialites."

"And I got these stretch marks on my butt from sitting in the house for months back in 2020."