Stay-at-home Pillows

Five Stages of Lockdown

Covid Inquiry / Enquiry

"That's our house, that's Mommy going to work, and that's you, staring out the window, wondering where it all went wrong."

"It's an update from the people tracking us. According to this, we haven't gone anywhere or done anything."

"It's a new work-out video. It shows a mother chasing after three little children all day."

'That reminds me, the seat broke on mine. I must make time to get it repaired.'

Woman with kids at husbands office.

'I'm glad you're able to be with us more, but I'd appreciate it if you'd say you're 'spending time' with us, not 'doing time' with us.'

'You'll never believe the day I've had...'

'Your house is spotless, your children are well behaved and dinner was delicious. How do you do it?'

'Sure, I'm a working mother - is there any other kind?'

"I noticed that since I've been working at home you've been paying me hazard pay. How did you know?"

Hassled Mother.

'How soon can I return to work? About fifteen minutes ago.'

"I knew we agreed that you could be a stay-at-home dad, but that's when we decide to have children."

'Son, the world is ripe for the taking ... you better stay home with me.'

“I’m stayin’ home — I want the world to know — I pro-bab-ly won’t go!”

"I sense a lot more going on with you than 'house-husband."

"I thought we could just stay home tonight and pupate."

'sugar and spice my eye.'

Keeping occupied in lockdown

"What should I wear to the living room today?"

"I'm tired of this full-time job. I want a part-time job."

'Occupation? You name it, that's ME.'

"Look at the state of this place! Don't you ever use that thing to sweep up?!"

Mums coffee morning

"And I got these stretch marks on my butt from sitting in the house for months back in 2020."

"Darling! We've become armchair socialites."

"At 11 am Josh has maths, Oli has history, Sarah has English, and I have zumba. 4 classes, 3 devices."

Working from Home: In/Still In

"Hibernate sounds better than binge watch."

'I don't care what he says, child labor laws were never intended to protect the rights of children in their mid-30s.'

"This isn't working out, Henry...I'm a social butterfly and you're just an annoying little moth!"

"I used to be a stay-at-home dad. It was great until I had kids."