Staying Employed Gifts

"You haven't been laid off because you're the designated scapegoat."

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

37 years in the same position.

The Rubber Ball Company

'Pick a contract...any contract!'

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

'I'm sure that you are highly qualified. It's just that we're not hiring anyone at the third grade level.'

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

'Curious how all four previous employers spelt 'exceptional' with just an 'x'.'

'We'd like to pay you what you're worth, too, Fenstrom. Unfortunately we must conform to the minimum wage law.'

'Let's keep in mind that although quitters never win, they often manage to avoid litigation.'

Work Slave

Between Offices

In and Out Sourced.

I'm over-educated and under-employed. That's why there's no MIDDLE class anymore.

'Yes, we do have an incentive scheme.We call it 'continued employment'.'

'A High-pain job? Yes, I believe we have that.'

'I'm afraid that the top investment banks are looking for more from job applicants than a 'Top Degree from the University of Hard Knocks'.'

'We like your style, but hate your substance.'

''A desk job.' That's what they called it at the interview.' 'Same here.' 'SHH!'

'You must be the only 'Jack-of-all-trades' who is out of work in all of them!'

'I blame the nothing for something culture.'

Get Well Soon and Hurry Back to the Office. . . Before Sharks Eat Your Job

"I'm being heavily recruited by several other companies."

"It raises trust issues, Mr. Kranse, when your very first question is 'what's the catch?'."

If a moo can rise to the top, so can I.

"That's nice, but do you have any references other than your Mom?"

'As my subordinate, naturally I expect you to take the heat on things that otherwise would make me uncomfortable.'

"I just need help getting started. A little seed money."

'You call it diversified work experience.. I call it can't hold a job.'

Day one, post grad

'Are you picky about preferring something with a livable wage?'

Dolestart - A New Initiative