Stay-at-home Sage Gifts

"They remove people who have become 'jammed in armchairs' due to COVID 19 lockdown!"

"It's an update from the people tracking us. According to this, we haven't gone anywhere or done anything."

Career Choices

"'Meetingpalooza' sounded better in the brochure."

Men explained.

Between Offices

'We consult those with whom we agree, which is why I rarely consult my conscience.'

'Do you have any books on controlling little monsters?'

"I hate 2:00 am feedings."

Keeping occupied in lockdown

"Working from home is a great idea, Dad. We'd just like to establish some kind of dress code."

"Raise your hand if you're the only one that's not getting let go."

'I'm sorry young lady, but you're not old enough to be free range!'

IMHOtep

"And I got these stretch marks on my butt from sitting in the house for months back in 2020."

"Darling! We've become armchair socialites."

'Sorry, darling, the firm's corporate lawyers say I can't discuss my day.'

"Sure your portfolio has taken a hit, but if you stay in the market for the long haul you'll be fine."

'I don't care what he says, child labor laws were never intended to protect the rights of children in their mid-30s.'

The Insiders

"Remember when we used to waste our entire lives for free?"

'It's all right, Dad -- it's a Buddhist chat room!'

"Can you suggest something that will enhance my hairstyle?"

"I'm looking for a book on how to raise kids easily, but I can't seem to find it anywhere..."

"One day, son, all this anxiety will be yours."

Five Stages of Lockdown

"How come you have your name on your desk, and I get my name on my chest?"

"Without a doubt... the first sixty!"

'Ms. Trent, would you go down to the third grade and get one of the computer techs?'

'... So I'm standing near this old guy and he's using an old, giant cell phone-- I mean this thing is ridiculous! Hahahaha!'

'Does it come with any Apps'

"Tonight, I was thinking we could run laps around the living room and then check out that Zoom standup show, but I'm open to other horrible ideas."

"That's life in the corporate world. Yesterday I was the company's 'go-to' guy, and today, I'm the 'you go too,' guy!"

"It's my turn to be 'work at home' parent, and your turn to be 'stay at home' parent."

'When, son, do you plan to leave your mother and father and cleave unto another?'