Statistic Slayer Gifts

'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

Giant slug attacks a city

My secret of living to 103? I stay active throwing out junk mail and alert dueling with telephone sales people!

'Of students surveyed, 64% prefer English and 32% prefer math. The fact that these numbers do not add up to 100 may help explain why.'

"This is where things started getting really weird."

'I was wondering, Mr. Hartwelder, if I could be paid in money rather than stock options?'

"I'll stop saying 'irregardless' if you'll stop staying 'at this point in time.'"

'It's only a slug Norman.'

"Luckily the days are long gone when we just labeled people as "mad"'

Unsubscribe-A-Mole

My statistics are not rubbish. Why are you always so mean?

Performance anxiety lessons, the more you practice something.

'Oh, sure, I should wake him up...but I asked him to kill that thing a week ago!'

'Oh for crying out loud, so there's a spider in the bathtub!!'

"Goliath? We want you to defeat a tech giant."

Action News - "An eighteen month survey found that 82% of people asked, find that surveys are a waste of time."

'Willy, get me the pesticide! We've got zombies!'

"According to the latest stats, there are nine million Brits who aren't working."

David and Goliath

'What exactly is it you dislike about slugs, Mister Crabtree?'

'I think I can...'

'I would like to be able to refer to this statistical graph, but I have math anxiety.'

'Your presentation left them open-mouthed. Every one of them was yawning!'

"Josephine, my man!"

'I get that a lot.'

'Look - the giant is dead! You got your cow back! Stop worrying about the loss of the bean crop!'

This week on Youtube, I counted 150,360 comments beneath 178 "Star Trek: Discovery" reviews. That's amazing. Yeah. And 49% of those comments were people saying the show is unwatchable. 1% of the comments are people asking if the show's unwatchable, how come you've been commenting on every episode and you're still here at episode 11? 50% of the comments are praise for the show. 30% of that 50% of the comments is from people pointing out that they used to only be 40%. I'm not sure the math god san

They do say 90% of all accidents occur in the home.

Boris adjusting the daily stats

Quarantine

"87% of the 56% who completed more than 23% of the survey thought it was a complete waste of time."

'If at first you don't get the survey results you want on your first survey, get mad and tear it up.'

"The witness may continue. I was just killing a spider."

'Don't worry Hal, I think if you pour salt on them, they completely shrivel up.'