Statistic Seeker Gifts

'I would like to be able to refer to this statistical graph, but I have math anxiety.'

Can't Do the Math/Won't Do the Math.

'No, it's not really good - that's our lawsuits-to-earnings ratio.'

'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

"Let's get married, Miss Harris, and have 2.8 children!"

'85.4% of people use phony statistics to get their point across.'

'Of students surveyed, 64% prefer English and 32% prefer math. The fact that these numbers do not add up to 100 may help explain why.'

"This is where things started getting really weird."

"Of course it's only prediction, we can't guarantee anything."

Please stand by...I have temporarily lost my reason.

Economist!

'15% of Americans don't have chairs in their living rooms, and of that 15%, 73% don't even realize it.'

'They're called 'numbers' -- Now we can have public opinion polls!'

'Looks like the latest crime figures have been stolen.'

"No, he's not in right now, he's out demographing."

'Our crime figures are down!'

Bank Robbery Statistics

'...and as a consequence, you lot all redundant. I'm not making it up.'

"People mistakenly think that we accountants are all boring number crunchers, but the latest figures show that 54% of the 23% of people who responded to a survey were 45% in favour of us being 12% more interesting than average!"

"Frankly, Harold, you're beginning to bore everyone with your statistics."

'I don't know if you're a mathematician but my wife's not happy with her Poisson distribution.'

'The idea of an artists' retreat is to get AWAY from business concerns, Mr. Harlow.'

"Caution! Now entering the margin of error."

'It says here that most people believe what they read in the papers.'

Institute of Solid Geometry/Institute of Plane Geometry.

'17 of the 23 of the 456 people who returned 76 of the 12 questionnaires thought the statistics were meaningless.'

The statistician marrying the probability expert...

"According to this article 98% of the statistics you read in the newspaper are inaccurate."

'According to these statistics you'll probably outlive me...'

"Study after study shows that more and more people are participating in studies."

"And you know, realistically, it's much safer than driving."

'The reminds me. Place your orders for the lunchtime pizza.'

"Bob said his decisions were only 30% correct...so he's trying to increase his odds."

"You'll be pleased to know you're making good progress - you've just become a statistic."