State Law Jockey Gifts

"It feels like me against the world but it's actually just the state of Connecticut."

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

Rocking Horse

A day at the transgenic races

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

Stop and Birch

The Epsom Derby - The Finishing Line

Gentlemen Riders

First past the post.

'Have you seen the ruddy margins the Chinese expect us to take up for this work?'

"My wife's lawyer doesn't understand me."

Horse racing puns

'Hmmm...It is: innocent until proven guilty? Or is it: guilty until proven innocent?'

"Did you see neighhhhhh...bours last night?"

SANTA'S ATTORNEY

"Instead of 'fraudulent,' the defendant requests that you refer to him as 'fluent in the ancient language of duplicity!'"

'Well, I can't find anything in the rule book about it.'

The Derby- Horse Auction at Tattersall's

"In view of the new evidence, my client would like to change his plea to 'guilty-ish', M'Lud."

"The charge is loitering, your honor."

Advertising space on jockeys' bottoms

'I might even change my views on genetics research if scientists could genetically engineer supreme court appointees!'

"Oops! My mistake, that was your projected trial load for this year, not this month."

"These days, everyone is lawyering up."

'I'm racing him in the 4.30.'

Sporting maladies.

Stout gentleman: 'That's the way to get over a gate! I don't think you left me so far behind that time.'

'Talk about lack of trust! My trainer didn't even bet on me, but I showed him: I won the race!'

'Last again. I hope you kept a diary of your trip.'

"I wish I had done more pro bono work. I need the tax write offs."

Sporting maladies.

"It's their big annual event—the Run for the Roses."