State Law Jockey Gifts

"It feels like me against the world but it's actually just the state of Connecticut."

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

Rocking Horse

A day at the transgenic races

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

The Epsom Derby - The Finishing Line

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

Stop and Birch

Gentlemen Riders

First past the post.

"My wife's lawyer doesn't understand me."

'Have you seen the ruddy margins the Chinese expect us to take up for this work?'

Horse racing puns

'Hmmm...It is: innocent until proven guilty? Or is it: guilty until proven innocent?'

"Did you see neighhhhhh...bours last night?"

"Instead of 'fraudulent,' the defendant requests that you refer to him as 'fluent in the ancient language of duplicity!'"

'Well, I can't find anything in the rule book about it.'

SANTA'S ATTORNEY

The Derby- Horse Auction at Tattersall's

"In view of the new evidence, my client would like to change his plea to 'guilty-ish', M'Lud."

Advertising space on jockeys' bottoms

"Oops! My mistake, that was your projected trial load for this year, not this month."

'I'm racing him in the 4.30.'

"The charge is loitering, your honor."

Sporting maladies.

'I might even change my views on genetics research if scientists could genetically engineer supreme court appointees!'

Stout gentleman: 'That's the way to get over a gate! I don't think you left me so far behind that time.'

"These days, everyone is lawyering up."

"I wish I had done more pro bono work. I need the tax write offs."

'Talk about lack of trust! My trainer didn't even bet on me, but I showed him: I won the race!'

'Last again. I hope you kept a diary of your trip.'

"It's their big annual event—the Run for the Roses."

Sporting maladies.