Lawn Jockey Gifts

The world's first riding lawn mower.

"There's suburbia for you: halfway there, then everything grinds to a halt."

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

Rocking Horse

I want to rip out our lawn and plant a wild meadow. And I want lost of well-mown grass. What do you recommend? Nursery open. Just a sec. I'll check with my dad. No way! Tree's Tree Nursery. I'm not suggesting a marriage counselor!

A day at the transgenic races

His family thought he'd been wasting his life, but Steve Wiebe was about to prove everyone wrong.

'Congratulations! Our yard's been declared a national wilderness area!'

Gamers

"Can you cut the grass but leave the daisies?"

The Epsom Derby - The Finishing Line

The very noisy, but enjoyable game of Crowquet.

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

A sign on the front lawn of a house reads "Keep off the chemicals".

'Hey, are you like me? Do you hate mowing around trees? ell, then THIS is the machine for you!'

"Must get a longer cable."

"The gods seem angrier than usual today."

'I fought the lawn and the lawn won.'

Gentlemen Riders

'Hand over the last one now kid or you're getting my fist for Christmas!'

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

First past the post.

'I can't get my husband to water the lawn.'

"It feels like me against the world but it's actually just the state of Connecticut."

Beware of the Lawn

The Scottish Lawn

Believe it or not, I'm sitting her watching the fights. Harry versus the crabgrass, the moles, the insects...

Horse racing puns

"Basically, I'm looking for a beer can holder with a mower built around it."

"Did you see neighhhhhh...bours last night?"

Dispose of unproductive fruit trees.

The Derby- Horse Auction at Tattersall's

'Well, I can't find anything in the rule book about it.'

'I'm racing him in the 4.30.'