State Identity Enthusiast Pillows

Rejected State Flowers

Incognito Bonito - 'I don't know me, but I do know you!'

A hard green shell on the outside doesn't always mean it's chocolaty on the inside.

"Actually, Sally, my name isn't Mrs. Santa Claus... It's Barb. I'm not defined by my husband."

Piorities in Minnesota.

"Welcome to Alabama. Pro-life at birth; not so much after that."

Which One is Pulling Out?

Secret Identity Theft.

You're in a terrible state, Al. Don't pick on New Jersey, doctor.

Happy-Go-Lucky-Father-Of-Two-Avid-Golfer-Longtime-Magnetic-Tape-Salesman-Kiwanis-Member or Thomas Pynchon?

'My Goodness! All these years George and I never guessed you were a superhero.'

"Which one more says 'Cool Guy?'"

"I'll tell you my gender if you tell me yours."

"The president has banned the Mexican wave and replaced it with the American wave... Also, empanadas will now only use American jumping-beans."

'... and then Peter was Mr. McGregor...'

Mr. Hillary Clinton

'He needs a domain name.'

"Which one of us is me?"

Frankenstein "Damn it! Not another ethic origin questionaire"

Dumbistan

I Was Married to Banksy.

Julia Gillard being obsessed with Barak Obama's visit to Australia

Millennial

To: Rudy Park. From: Lemont Brown. Hey Rudy, it's me. Long time no talk. How are you these days? Lemont? From Berkeley? Tap tap tap tap. Yeah. Man … Putnam Hall 1993. Those were the days. What ever happened to our roommate Ken? Tap tap tap tap tap tap. Divided Airlines. Divided Airlines. You know, that freak who was always writing articles about "news" and junk for the school paper ... That MORON who didn't know a Gameboy from a GameGear ... That big baby whose mommy was always calling to check

Name

Valerie thrived in an internet community that had no idea she was a chicken...

'I love how you're not like everyone else. Oh, sorry, I thought you were my wife.'

'I'm not a hawk or a dove. I'm a dog!'

"I was born a doughboy but I identify as a crescent roll."

Yeah, I guess it works better for New York than mine does for Maine.

Man mistakes portable table for a church confessional.

"Does this count as photo I.D.?"

Diversity Does Not Include Class

'It just wouldn't work out, Derek. I'm from a red state, and you're from a blue state.'

"New Hampshire kinda welcomes you. Live free or die."