Starting University Gifts

"The answer you seek can be found in the syllabus."

Report on Plagiarism - 'You've copied all this off the internet...'

'Today: The collective unconscious...'

'It's all original research. I had no assistance when I looked it up on Wikipedia.'

Statistics department with 'You are here (sampling error +/- 4%)'.

'Please, sir -- ten bucks more and I can sign up for a fund-raising course at the university!'

'Our goal is to stress di-versity while remaining a uni-versity.'

Department of Nanotechnology

Freshman Ryan Brenneman was having a tough time acclimating to life away from home.

Tired of constantly sending her money, Jill's parents installed an ATM in her dorm room.

'Ok then, what's the second most important thing on campus.'

Four Types of Test-Takers...

'I like the history professor but I think he's mired in the past.'

"Room, board, books, and tuition--I draw the line at corkage fees."

'Academic freedom doesn't mean you're free not to study.'

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

"And before leaving virtual class today be sure and hit that like button!"

Welcome back students.

"That's in case Mum skypes me."

Campus Map

"I have to read this disclaimer: Any opinions expressed in this course belong to the professor and do not necessarily mean the university is left-wing."

"I need money to finance my studies in criminal psychology with a focus on antisocial behavior."

Accounting School sign says: 'Go forth and multiply, divide and subtract.'

Binge Drinking On Campus.

Ticking the right boxes.

'I'm enrolling in an online course to learn how to apply for a loan for an online university.'

Philosophy Department: You are here but why are you here?

'Postgrad Pat.'

Interdisciplinary studies.

Procrastinator Foumdation: 'We're putting off the decision to fund you for at least another month...'

"Welcome to Sarcasm 101. I'm soooooo glad you could all be here today."

'I'm supposed to take a geography test and I can't find the right room!'

College of Arts and Sciences (and a few things to fall back on).

'The latest on the tuition front. Next year nobody will be able to afford college.'

City of Round Holes welcomes you to the University of Square Pegs.