Starting School Gifts

"I believe that's a Montessori school."

"Now remember this formula, it's going to be on the test."

'My reading comprehension is so-so, but I do make up for it with my highlighting skills.'

'Just a darn minute ? yesterday you said that X equals two!'

"No textbooks. I'm strictly Web-fed."

'Is there a 'back to school' app?'

Due to recent technological advances, everything I taught you about computers is no longer valid.'

'I'm afraid I still have more questions than answers.'

Child cycling across 4x4 rooftops: 'Isn't it nice to see children cycling to school?'

'I must be growing up. I've caught myself washing my hands without being told to.'

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN, 'It's okay, I guess, but they sure hassle you about compliance!'

'My teacher said I don't pay enough attention in class. At least, that's what I think she said.'

'Wow! That's some growth spurt!'

"It wasn't our first choice of schools, but we had a Groupon for it, so what the hell."

'Do we need this even if we're not planning to go to college?'

'Yes, grammar rules do evolve over time, but making up your own to 'stay ahead of the curve' won't work in this English class!'

'Welcome to Geography.' 'Are we there yet?'

'There is NO way I can perform under that kind of pressure!'

"It's the whole kindergarten thing, Mom. I'm alone in there, swimming with the sharks."

'Have a good day, sweetie. Mommy has to go to the office now and attempt to drive a stake through the heart of her competitors.'

'It was easier when you went to school, Dad. That was before the information age.'

"At this time I'd like to welcome our gold-medallion passengers on board."

'I think I'm going to throw up.'

'Where do you see yourself in five years?'

Kid tries to plug in a book.

'That piggy bank is for my college fund.'

"Back to school...you mean there's more?"

'This is not show and tell Billy...'

Little doctor.

'It's so cruel the way they break it to you, Not, 'school starts tomorrow', but 'tonight's a school night','

'My backpack would be lighter if I weren't carrying all my parents hopes and dreams.'

'We spent a lot of money educating him, so if you want junior's opinion you'll have to pay for it.'

'I learned in school today that you can't take the Fifth Amendment on a spelling test.'

"When I was your age I had to carry a backpack that weighed a ton. You only have to carry a flash drive."

'In general, do the right thing.'