Starting New School Gifts

'I'm not saying your parents are lying to get you into this school, but your name isn't Susan, is it?'

"I don't want to go!"

"I figure participation marks are my only hope for a good grade in this class."

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

"I've always dreamed of being on an academic team like this! It's great that we can all depend on each other!"

'When I grow up, I want to be a hydraulic engineer...'

'My reading comprehension is so-so, but I do make up for it with my highlighting skills.'

"I got a gold star for going the longest without looking at my phone in class."

"When I grow up, I'm writing the Great American App."

'Does this have anything to do with Einstein's theory of relativity?'

"My answers could be right. Your quiz just asked the wrong questions."

"There's something weird about Emily. She actually likes school!"

"Abstract Expressionism is definitely right for me at this stage of my career."

'I couldn't do my term paper because they've never made a movie about Rutherford B. Hayes.'

'In school today, we learned about endangered species.'

"It's no my fault I got a D. The system is broken."

"I'm going to talk about the summer before last, it was much more fun."

'X is unknown? Even to somebody with all your education?'

Being and Nothingness Pop-Up! (book)

"I'll bet all of Albert Einstein's teachers felt like idiots for giving him bad grades too."

'I didn't do my homework because I forgot my user name and password.'

Culture Saturday

'But what is the universe for?'

'The secret to doing a book report is only picking books that have been made in to movies.'

'Are you sure I should read my book report to the class? --�It's PG-13.'

'My imaginary playmate can whip your imaginary playmate!'

Girl with smart phone enters door that says "Social Media Studies"

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

Boy and girl at thier studies

'What a drive! Our boy's going to go a long, long way.'

'Remember, Edward, inside every 'F' student is a 'D' student trying to get out.'

"I did the best dental health poster in the class. I just hope Mr. Tooth Decay doesn't hold a grudge."