Attending New School Gifts

"Try to fit in, Dear."

'In school today, we learned about endangered species.'

'Are you sure I should read my book report to the class? --�It's PG-13.'

'The secret to doing a book report is only picking books that have been made in to movies.'

'I didn't do my homework because I forgot my user name and password.'

'But what is the universe for?'

Timmy has a great future in nano-technology.

You wrote a book report on a video game instruction manual?

"I lost my taste for his homework when it came burned on a CD."

" 'How I Spent My Summer Vacation,' a treatment by Todd Mozelle, Grade Three."

"This is a great school but it wasn't my first choice."

Children's education

'What are the other nonconformists wearing this year?'

'Shouldn't we spend a little time on the ARTS?'

"We thought this was more realistic."

"The first day of school. Yes sir. A day to make new friends. A day to mark new beginnings. A day to discover everyone but you has grown three feet over the summer."

Planned service changes

Always remember...you're the best you in the world.

"The first week of school is just review. You know. Scenes from last year's episode."

"I'm both too liberal to be preppy and too conservative to be trendy."

Learning Curve

"Hey, you guys, don't you remember? The big word here is 'compromise.' "

"This is my last day. My parents found a more expensive school on the East Side."

"Rats, I thought he'd like my science project!"

'Due to the record snowfall, every school on the face of the earth is closed except for Wolfbranch Elementary.'

"I wouldn't mind...But he's the teacher."

'How could you flunk multiplication?'

"Welcome."

"The problem with online schooling is I can't get help from Mom and Dad!"

'But Mum, I've got a match after school...'

The Month of August

A Grade Two student explains why he is so eager to get back to school.

The First Day Back

"Ah, bless. His first day at school."

"A laser blaster turns pesky little boys into ferns! Now that would be a cool school supply."