Attending New School Gifts

"Try to fit in, Dear."

'In school today, we learned about endangered species.'

'I didn't do my homework because I forgot my user name and password.'

'Are you sure I should read my book report to the class? --�It's PG-13.'

'But what is the universe for?'

'The secret to doing a book report is only picking books that have been made in to movies.'

Timmy has a great future in nano-technology.

You wrote a book report on a video game instruction manual?

" 'How I Spent My Summer Vacation,' a treatment by Todd Mozelle, Grade Three."

"I lost my taste for his homework when it came burned on a CD."

'What are the other nonconformists wearing this year?'

"This is a great school but it wasn't my first choice."

Children's education

'Shouldn't we spend a little time on the ARTS?'

"We thought this was more realistic."

"The first day of school. Yes sir. A day to make new friends. A day to mark new beginnings. A day to discover everyone but you has grown three feet over the summer."

Planned service changes

"The first week of school is just review. You know. Scenes from last year's episode."

Always remember...you're the best you in the world.

"I'm both too liberal to be preppy and too conservative to be trendy."

Learning Curve

"Hey, you guys, don't you remember? The big word here is 'compromise.' "

"Rats, I thought he'd like my science project!"

"This is my last day. My parents found a more expensive school on the East Side."

'Due to the record snowfall, every school on the face of the earth is closed except for Wolfbranch Elementary.'

"I wouldn't mind...But he's the teacher."

'How could you flunk multiplication?'

"Welcome."

The Month of August

The First Day Back

A Grade Two student explains why he is so eager to get back to school.

'Will this help me get into law school?'

"A laser blaster turns pesky little boys into ferns! Now that would be a cool school supply."

"The problem with online schooling is I can't get help from Mom and Dad!"

"Ah, bless. His first day at school."