School Starting Gifts

'Glue will wreak havoc on your arteries.'

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

"I've always dreamed of being on an academic team like this! It's great that we can all depend on each other!"

'When I grow up, I want to be a hydraulic engineer...'

'My reading comprehension is so-so, but I do make up for it with my highlighting skills.'

Kid at bus stop to kid: 'Needless to say, I cured my Mom of her home-schooling kick.'

"When I grow up, I'm writing the Great American App."

"I got a gold star for going the longest without looking at my phone in class."

"My answers could be right. Your quiz just asked the wrong questions."

"Abstract Expressionism is definitely right for me at this stage of my career."

"There's something weird about Emily. She actually likes school!"

"I had all the right answers, but I had them in the wrong order."

'I couldn't do my term paper because they've never made a movie about Rutherford B. Hayes.'

'In school today, we learned about endangered species.'

"It's no my fault I got a D. The system is broken."

"I'm going to talk about the summer before last, it was much more fun."

'X is unknown? Even to somebody with all your education?'

'The secret to doing a book report is only picking books that have been made in to movies.'

Being and Nothingness Pop-Up! (book)

Boy and girl at thier studies

'Are you sure I should read my book report to the class? --�It's PG-13.'

Girl with smart phone enters door that says "Social Media Studies"

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

Culture Saturday

'What a drive! Our boy's going to go a long, long way.'

'Remember, Edward, inside every 'F' student is a 'D' student trying to get out.'

'My imaginary playmate can whip your imaginary playmate!'

'This has been a drill. Had this been an actual test you would have been instructed...'

"I did the best dental health poster in the class. I just hope Mr. Tooth Decay doesn't hold a grudge."

Billy, can you deliver your show 'n tell this time without the fog machine?