School Starting T-Shirts

'Glue will wreak havoc on your arteries.'

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

"I've always dreamed of being on an academic team like this! It's great that we can all depend on each other!"

'When I grow up, I want to be a hydraulic engineer...'

'My reading comprehension is so-so, but I do make up for it with my highlighting skills.'

Kid at bus stop to kid: 'Needless to say, I cured my Mom of her home-schooling kick.'

'Does this have anything to do with Einstein's theory of relativity?'

"When I grow up, I'm writing the Great American App."

"I got a gold star for going the longest without looking at my phone in class."

"My answers could be right. Your quiz just asked the wrong questions."

"Abstract Expressionism is definitely right for me at this stage of my career."

"There's something weird about Emily. She actually likes school!"

"I had all the right answers, but I had them in the wrong order."

'I couldn't do my term paper because they've never made a movie about Rutherford B. Hayes.'

'In school today, we learned about endangered species.'

"It's no my fault I got a D. The system is broken."

"I'm going to talk about the summer before last, it was much more fun."

'X is unknown? Even to somebody with all your education?'

'Remember, Edward, inside every 'F' student is a 'D' student trying to get out.'

School Cafeteria. It's the start of the school year. The Geometry teacher will come by to verify that we're serving truly square meals. The grammar teacher says the alphabet soup is runny and needs some punctuation added. History teachers keep a record of all the past meals and so will notice any leftovers being served. And the computer lab staff expressed concern about all the cookies so the astronomy teacher suggested switching to candy for dessert. I'll bet she thinks Starburst and Milk

Culture Saturday

'My imaginary playmate can whip your imaginary playmate!'

'The secret to doing a book report is only picking books that have been made in to movies.'

Girl with smart phone enters door that says "Social Media Studies"

'Are you sure I should read my book report to the class? --�It's PG-13.'

Being and Nothingness Pop-Up! (book)

"I'll bet all of Albert Einstein's teachers felt like idiots for giving him bad grades too."

'What a drive! Our boy's going to go a long, long way.'

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

Boy and girl at thier studies

'You need an education or you will wind up in some fast food place.'

"I did the best dental health poster in the class. I just hope Mr. Tooth Decay doesn't hold a grudge."