Starting Sports Training Gifts

"They’re baseballs. You throw ’em."

Football

'We need you to get onto those high balls coming over'

Perils of the double play.

Good luck tonight, xoxo, Coach.

"This round, forget the finesse. Hit him."

"Carrots just didn't get me going anymore, so I switched to chocolate instead..."

'You know our track team stinks when our star pole vaulter is better at the limbo.'

'Here we go again...'

"Fellas, I invited Max here to give us a fresh, millennial take on how to get out of the inning."

"When you put on the uniform, you surrender a part of yourself."

Future Wrestler

'Get him in a full nelson, you dolt! You'll never pin him with a Heimlich maneuver!'

Olympics create interest in curling.

'It's all right, miss, I'm only loking for our cricket-ball!'

'He's known as the hardest-driving track coach in the country.'

NFL linebackers are identified in early infancy and sent away to the secret academy until puberty.

"Well, dad. . . when I was a kid I got in trouble for trampling on the lawn or for beating up others. . . today, I get a lot of money for it!"

"Steroids."

'Is Hamburger Helper on the Olympics' banned substance list?'

'Ring around the rosey ...'

'So I told the doctor I'm a major league baseball player and I don't have any time to get out in the sunshine.'

'Of course the swing is important, just don't allow it to pull focus from the neck.'

Making sure the pitcher is up for the job.

"I know I told you to fool him into thinking you've got nothing left, but now you've got me convinced."

Boxer's Hair Styles.

"Remember, champ he maybe bigger, stronger and faster, but he ain't got yer reach!!"

'Not scream, you morons! I said screen pass! Set up a screen pass!'