Sports Training Gifts

'No, Jerome, that is incorrect... can anyone else demonstrate the proper way to tape a basketball player's ankle?'

'Here's the problem, this wall is made out velcro.'

'He's known as the hardest-driving track coach in the country.'

'We need you to get onto those high balls coming over'

A Swimmer Doing Breastroke

"The tricky part comes when I try it without the training wheels."

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

Brian was very proud of his dog.

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

Overjumpers

Muscles

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

'Not that sort of body building program!'

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

'Believe me, I know transformation isn't easy. I pulled a muscle once.'

"The desktop skills test was a little worrying,56% couldn't manage 'Word' 75% were confused by 'Excel' and 43% wanted to know what channel 'Eastenders' was on."

'One of the new targets is targeting which targets we're meant to target.'

'As it's your first day we're going to start you on something easy.'

'Fetching is a good thing...but there can be TOO MUCH of a good thing.'

"Empty again? What's going on around here anyway?"

"We're exclusively delts."

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

Bench Press Accident

Football

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

"Shake! Good Dog."

"O.K. you're ready to go on to the less embarrassing weights."

Dog tricks. 'He's doing it right now. Dudley dreams in Technocolor!'

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"

"Look. They say sit, you sit. They say roll over, you roll over. Where's the prob?"