Sports Practice Gifts

"...and then while I was at soccer practice they moved house."

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

Playing Fetch.

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

Football Fans

Man on exercise bike with dog on treadmill

"Do you guys serve beer?"

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

'My feet are killing me.'

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

'Okay, ladies! We're not just going to burn those calories, we're going to drown them!'

"Things are still a little rough for me, and occasionally I lose hope and get depressed—but I'm getting stronger every day."

"I'm off to the gym, where my private self and my public self converge."

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

'I love your cardiovascular system!'

Kid uses his violin as a golf club.

Businessman uses yoga moves while reviewing financial news on computer

"This feels like an accomplishment."

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

On the back of the t-shirt...

'Every piece of equipment is hooked up to battery cells in the basement, and we actually sell electricity back to the power company!'

Muscles

"Hey Lady this is a sixty zone!"

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

'Not that sort of body building program!'

'Run, run, as fast as you can!'

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

A man and his dog

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"It's a new work-out video. It shows a mother chasing after three little children all day."

'Hang in there, Larry, those endorphins will soon kick in.'