Team Practice Gifts

This scrimmage, I'll assess your individual talents. Coach. I'll be checking out each of you! Though that would have been easier

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

"I've always dreamed of being on an academic team like this! It's great that we can all depend on each other!"

Football Fans

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

Church for sports worshipers.

"The meeting will come to order."

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

"That's it lads, 364 days annual leave...what would we have done without our union!"

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

Support Group for a Good Problem

"Now, let's get out there and walk really fast to places we don't want to be."

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

"Lautrec or Gary? Hmmm... We'll take Gary."

The trauma of losing.

"Who wants to hear a funny story about the third quarter?"

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

'OK, everybody, calm down,,,'

"Quit stalling, Smithers. Where's the SALES chart?"

"How should we divide the teams?"

'Pass it to Dewey! He's got himself into some kind of rhythm!!'

I love your enthusiasm, girls, but we're not opening a can of whoop-ANYTHING.

Raheem Sterling

"My preferred pronoun is they."

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"

The best PE teacher in the World.

"To be clear, I said I want your 'A' game, not your 'Eh?' game."

Perils of the double play.

'Best save I've ever seen.'

The vice-president in charge of sincerity

'Unbelievable, these guys brought a ringer.'

'All those in doubt, raise your eyebrows.'

"I'll be glad when they invent PowerPoint."

Hockey Season.