Sports Trainer Gifts

"Remember, champ he maybe bigger, stronger and faster, but he ain't got yer reach!!"

'Now this time, just for the heck of it, try releasing that sucker a little sooner,'

'Your hands-off approach isn't working.'

'Sorry, Rudolph, we can't let you join in any reindeer games... You've tested positive for steroids.'

"Just practice half-court shots -- all other shots have lost their meaning."

"Okay, you know so much, you fight him"

'Timeout . . . he's stuck.'

'Is Hamburger Helper on the Olympics' banned substance list?'

"Steroids."

'You know our track team stinks when our star pole vaulter is better at the limbo.'

"Right, the first thing we're going to practise is rolling around, clutching our legs and crying in the penalty box."

'Let him hit you.'

"Come on, you can beat this guy. If he was any good, he wouldn't be fighting you!"

'Not scream, you morons! I said screen pass! Set up a screen pass!'

Football coaches get up to mischief

Heenan Sayers Fight - Reception of Nast at Heenan's training base

'If you really wanted to win, you'd all be using steroids.'

'Why can't you take a performance enhancing drug like other athletes?'

'Walk it off!'

'The thing I liked best about being an amateur is that the other guy was an amateur too!'

'I'm not worried about his one-two, it's the left-right-elbow-head, his one-two-three-four that's bothering me!'

'It's a privilege. Not everyone is fortunate enough to make my team, but those who do are proud to wear the brand.'

'OK champ, remember this guy is supposed to have a big left.'

School of Pitching.

Roger's assistant was the hang back and ensure that the kickoff was not returned all the way.

'It happens to all athletes, Bob. The legs are the first to go.'

'We need you to get onto those high balls coming over'

'So I told the doctor I'm a major league baseball player and I don't have any time to get out in the sunshine.'

'Mogug is big and strong, and swings his club with power. I suggest we let him play rightfield and bat third.'

"...and forget your damn sensitivity training."

'Of course the swing is important, just don't allow it to pull focus from the neck.'

"What's going on? We already got four concussions, and we only gave them two."

"Which one are we, Coach?"

"I know I told you to fool him into thinking you've got nothing left, but now you've got me convinced."

Football