Football Trainer Gifts

Mole on football pitch asks: 'What's up, am I offside?'

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

"Good game."

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.

"This feels like an accomplishment."

"Any questions?"

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

'Run, run, as fast as you can!'

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

"It's a new work-out video. It shows a mother chasing after three little children all day."

Powerful Love.

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

"I'm not sure about this new trainee - he asked me when does he get to see the actual ropes."

'Another football scholarship offer?'

How to deliver a successful presentation.

"Any questions?"

'One of the new targets is targeting which targets we're meant to target.'

Walking a dog on a treadmill.

For speedy operation and ease of control get a pony.

'We need you to get onto those high balls coming over'

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

"Give him time, - if anyone can break that swing set, it's O'l Tex."

Football

Even good cholesterol can develop an unhealthy sports addiction...

"I'm not using my jumper as a goalpost, sir, I'm using it as a jumper."

A Sticky Buns Bakery is positioned next to a gym.

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'