Football Guru Gifts

'I.T tells me you've been playing fantasy football on your company computer. I'm afraid we have to let you go.' 'Just for that?' 'That, and stealing my best quarterback.'

BCS Conference.

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

No-Work Orange

Young golf ball getting "the talk".

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

'I do a lot of icing. It's part of my mellowness.'

'Best save I've ever seen.'

"Now, why didn't I think of that?"

United Football Club: In, Out, VAR.

It can be taken up at any age....

The Goalkeeper

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

"Well I didn't see the incident myself.."

Golf lessons

Men playing water football in barrels on a lake

And if the ball is completely unplayable...

'I don't care if you do need practice hitting out of the sand. The cat needs her litter box!'

'I didn't have a glass ceiling I had to break through... I had a golf course I had to conquer.'

'The water hazard holds little fear for Jesus.'

'It looks to me like they come in peace.'

"I didn't mean your day wasn't hard, too."

Playing football with snowmen in goal.

Cat plays a golf shot from a litter box.

'Are you blind ref?'

'You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!'

"So is that a slice of a hook? I never know which is which."

"On the weekend I finally beat the club pro...so I don't need you anymore!"

"Oh no, it's gone in that silly little hole again."

'Okay. Tiger took care of golf. Serena did her part at Wimbeldon. That brings us to the final frontier... hockey.'

Largest Divot Trophy.

'Excuse me, Professor Hippocrates...but when do we learn how to hit out of bunkers?'

"Swallow the ball and stick the club up your a**e."

'You reckon we should mosey this guy?'

Arch of Triumph Save