Football Guru Pillows

'I.T tells me you've been playing fantasy football on your company computer. I'm afraid we have to let you go.' 'Just for that?' 'That, and stealing my best quarterback.'

No-Work Orange

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

'I do a lot of icing. It's part of my mellowness.'

'Best save I've ever seen.'

United Football Club: In, Out, VAR.

"Now, why didn't I think of that?"

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

It can be taken up at any age....

The Goalkeeper

Golf lessons

"Well I didn't see the incident myself.."

Men playing water football in barrels on a lake

'I don't care if you do need practice hitting out of the sand. The cat needs her litter box!'

And if the ball is completely unplayable...

'I didn't have a glass ceiling I had to break through... I had a golf course I had to conquer.'

'It looks to me like they come in peace.'

'The water hazard holds little fear for Jesus.'

"I didn't mean your day wasn't hard, too."

Playing football with snowmen in goal.

'Are you blind ref?'

"On the weekend I finally beat the club pro...so I don't need you anymore!"

"So is that a slice of a hook? I never know which is which."

'You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!'

"Oh no, it's gone in that silly little hole again."

"Swallow the ball and stick the club up your a**e."

'...And Timmy, as usual, will guard goal.'

'Excuse me, Professor Hippocrates...but when do we learn how to hit out of bunkers?'

Largest Divot Trophy.

Football Bomb

Arch of Triumph Save