Goal Guru Pillows

"We thought we could put in the details later."

"...and although the tortoise was severely speed-challenged, he achieved his sales quota through a strict goal-specific program."

"Any New Year's resolutions?" "I'm going to do better." "That's a nice sentiment but a little vague. Without a specific benchmark how'll you know you've met it?" "How'll I know I haven't?" "That's oddly logical." "And achievable."

United Football Club: In, Out, VAR.

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

No-Work Orange

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

Homo Gamus

'I do a lot of icing. It's part of my mellowness.'

'Best save I've ever seen.'

"Now, why didn't I think of that?"

Whack-a-molecule

What Harper Lee's REALLY been up to all these years

'Son, I want you to get out there and play like I've never played before.'

'I think he's doing ok, the coach says he has the attention span of a goldfish.'

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

The Goalkeeper

It can be taken up at any age....

"After a long day at the office writing business software...Bob loves to relax writing game software."

Golf lessons

'Oh, it's me... Time out. I've gotta take this.'

Prawn Amend

"Attendance is up, but they tune out my sermon to play wordle."

And if the ball is completely unplayable...

'I didn't have a glass ceiling I had to break through... I had a golf course I had to conquer.'

'It looks to me like they come in peace.'

"I didn't mean your day wasn't hard, too."

'You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!'

Shy goalie smiles under umbrella in victory downfall of streamers

Playing football with snowmen in goal.

'Red nine on the black ten.' 'Thanks.'

"On the weekend I finally beat the club pro...so I don't need you anymore!"

"So is that a slice of a hook? I never know which is which."

'Are you blind ref?'

'That piggy bank is for my college fund.'