Goal Guru Gifts

"We thought we could put in the details later."

"...and although the tortoise was severely speed-challenged, he achieved his sales quota through a strict goal-specific program."

"Any New Year's resolutions?" "I'm going to do better." "That's a nice sentiment but a little vague. Without a specific benchmark how'll you know you've met it?" "How'll I know I haven't?" "That's oddly logical." "And achievable."

Harry Redknapp

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

Ada Martine Stolsmo Hegerberg

United Football Club: In, Out, VAR.

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

No-Work Orange

Young golf ball getting "the talk".

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

Homo Gamus

'I do a lot of icing. It's part of my mellowness.'

'Best save I've ever seen.'

What Harper Lee's REALLY been up to all these years

"Now, why didn't I think of that?"

Whack-a-molecule

'I think he's doing ok, the coach says he has the attention span of a goldfish.'

'Son, I want you to get out there and play like I've never played before.'

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

It can be taken up at any age....

"After a long day at the office writing business software...Bob loves to relax writing game software."

Kindergarten. Today; Simon Says. I don't know who this "Simon Says" is, but he could make a killing in product endorsements!

The Goalkeeper

Golf lessons

Prawn Amend

And if the ball is completely unplayable...

"Attendance is up, but they tune out my sermon to play wordle."

'Oh, it's me... Time out. I've gotta take this.'

'I didn't have a glass ceiling I had to break through... I had a golf course I had to conquer.'

'It looks to me like they come in peace.'

"I didn't mean your day wasn't hard, too."

Cat plays a golf shot from a litter box.

'Are you blind ref?'

'Red nine on the black ten.' 'Thanks.'