Football Coach Gifts

World Football Tournament USA Vs. England

'Any questions?'

'Voila! ... Concussion-proof!'

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

'If you want to play in this league, Wilson, you've got to learn to play with pain!'

"I don't think much of their defence."

'He's right. We screwed up.'

'Your grandfather is a cautionary tale, son. He quit school early and pinned all his hopes on an NFL career. But in the end, he was never used in a single game.'

Football team discussions.

"O'Brien, here, has written us a new play."

Football Penalties

'Listen, they've scored five straight goals. It's nothing personal, but I think we need someone with limbs playing goalie.'

'This is getting spooky. Their defence always seems to know what our offence is going to do before the ball is even...'

'We're going back to basics...This is a football.'

Woman watches football match played by a mug of tea, salt pot and ketchup bottle, she says to husband: 'Your explanation of the offside rule was spot on.'

'Listen up! Me and Everyone else will run for our lives. Dewey You stay back and block.'

Target practice board in the shape of a football referee.

'Aw, come on ref - that was a dive...!'

Another motorist fails the field spiral test.

'Good news. We've decided to give you the game ball.'

Coulda, shoulda, woulda... DID!

Coaching the quarterback

Foosball game with real life players.

'Go long!'

"Well I didn't see the incident myself.."

'Listen up. ... When the ball is snapped, I want you to sprint for the end zone, cut through the tunnel, run out the gate, and don't ever come back.'

Bud's Coaching Staff Removal Service.

"You can't tell me what to do! You're not my wife!"

"You know, I never really thought to ask - I just assumed he knows they can't hear him."

Kev's initial excitement as the club's new Sweeper suddenly dwindled.

"I hope you'll all attend my halftime speech, whose title is, 'You're Playing Like Twinkies'."

Teenage Angst.

The Wicked Witch finally wins a championship after 20 years as head coach. But her celebration quickly turns to tragedy.

"This crucial pre-game drill keeps you focused and eliminates distractions!"

'... Shoes, helmets, shoulder-pads, jock-straps, socks... I'll tell you what. A coach can't ask much more of his players. They left it all on the field today.'