College Football Coach Gifts

'The sad part is, the kid still doesn't get why his stock has plummeted...'

'We just can't seem to keep it clean. . .'

Tommy Tuberville

"Good game."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

I like the Jets...I guess

"Those aren't coconuts, they're tennis balls." "Sweet mother of Novak Djokovic!" The island of lost tennis balls.

Reach for the Star.

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

'I love your cardiovascular system!'

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

Go! Means NOW!

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

The trauma of losing.

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

Time Is Money

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

'Another football scholarship offer?'

Back to school.

'OK, everybody, calm down,,,'

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a MAP, actually."

'Pass it to Dewey! He's got himself into some kind of rhythm!!'

"I'm not using my jumper as a goalpost, sir, I'm using it as a jumper."

I love your enthusiasm, girls, but we're not opening a can of whoop-ANYTHING.

Football

'We need you to get onto those high balls coming over'

"And the letterbox version, how does that make you feel."