College Coach Gifts

Hamburger Helper

'Coach - do you know the definition for 'losing coach''

College Coaches Pay

"Here we go again. Hiring college coaches for millions while faculty members teach for peanuts..."

College Football

"Good game."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

I like the Jets...I guess

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

"Those aren't coconuts, they're tennis balls." "Sweet mother of Novak Djokovic!" The island of lost tennis balls.

Others will fight for you

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

Reach for the Star.

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

'Don't think of it as being a yes man, think of it as being an employed man.'

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

'I love your cardiovascular system!'

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

Go team!

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

Oscar would laugh whenever he recalled his empty existence before golf.

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

"I hate performance review season."

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

'Another football scholarship offer?'

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."