University Coach Gifts

"Writing about your community service is good, but I would play down the court-ordered part."

"Good game."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

I like the Jets...I guess

"Those aren't coconuts, they're tennis balls." "Sweet mother of Novak Djokovic!" The island of lost tennis balls.

Reach for the Star.

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

'I love your cardiovascular system!'

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

Old navy veteran 3rd base coach

Oscar would laugh whenever he recalled his empty existence before golf.

Go team!

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

"I hate performance review season."

Go! Means NOW!

The trauma of losing.

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

"I AM at my usual position."

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'

Punt Cake

"College basketball recruiters are after him."

Time Is Money