Future Coach Gifts

"Well, if we're playing tackle football I'll be the coach!"

"Good game."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

I like the Jets...I guess

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

"Those aren't coconuts, they're tennis balls." "Sweet mother of Novak Djokovic!" The island of lost tennis balls.

Others will fight for you

'Don't think of it as being a yes man, think of it as being an employed man.'

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

Reach for the Star.

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

'I love your cardiovascular system!'

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

Oscar would laugh whenever he recalled his empty existence before golf.

Go team!

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

"I hate performance review season."

Time Is Money

Go! Means NOW!

Punt Cake

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

"I AM at my usual position."

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

The trauma of losing.