Future Coach Pillows

"Well, if we're playing tackle football I'll be the coach!"

I think we got stuck with the rookie coaches. First thing -- Stop kicking your equipment around.

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

"Good game."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

I like the Jets...I guess

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

Others will fight for you

"Those aren't coconuts, they're tennis balls." "Sweet mother of Novak Djokovic!" The island of lost tennis balls.

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

'Don't think of it as being a yes man, think of it as being an employed man.'

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

Reach for the Star.

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

'I love your cardiovascular system!'

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

Go team!

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

Oscar would laugh whenever he recalled his empty existence before golf.

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

"I hate performance review season."

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

"We first met on the net. We began to court, but between my foul mouth and Wilson being on the rebound...let's just say it was a long shot, but he pressed, and I was defenseless. Now, we're as 'hoopy' as can be."

"I AM at my usual position."

Go! Means NOW!

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'

Punt Cake