Future Life Coach Pillows

Playground reputation.

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

Others will fight for you

'For your information, I am engaging the energy of change and complexity to create the future I desire.'

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

'Don't think of it as being a yes man, think of it as being an employed man.'

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

Surfing the daily stress

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

"I hate performance review season."

"I'm sorry, but we're looking for someone who's more likely to be followed than following."

Road Forks in the Road: No Way and Yes Way.

Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

For some reason, "The Road Less Travelled" GPS package never really caught on...

"Actually, it's more like a mouse race."

"So what makes you think you're qualified for this job?"

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

'When I was young, I said I'd make it big or know the reason why - Well, I sure know the reason why!'

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

Self-esteem room

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

'Perkins, we're getting rid of some of the dead wood around here.'

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

"You need to justify your own existence first."

"I have a Bachelor's degree from Columbia, an MBA from Stanford, six years experience, and I'm a hell of a mouser."

"Back when I was your age the only way to get a promotion was kissing butt."

Chicken Little Inc. Pecking Order.

"What I’ve learned is you have to look deep inside your heart and ask yourself, ‘What is it that she really wants to hear?’"

'Don't start timing me yet! This staple won't come out!'

Between Offices

'And I see you've listed opposable thumbs as your greatest asset...'