Future Football Manager Gifts

'One day you'll be able to 'sack' a football manager.'

Football Fans

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

'Another football scholarship offer?'

'You really want that promotion, don't you, Sherman?'

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

'We need you to get onto those high balls coming over'

"I'm not using my jumper as a goalpost, sir, I'm using it as a jumper."

Football

Even good cholesterol can develop an unhealthy sports addiction...

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

United Football Club: In, Out, VAR.

'This new game isn't working out -- the ball keeps running away.'

Good luck tonight, xoxo, Coach.

'What are we, wimps? Are we gonna let a bunch of rabbits push us all over the field? Come on, big guys.'

"This crucial pre-game drill keeps you focused and eliminates distractions!"

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

So far the coaching exchange program was hitting a few snags.

'And now on the comedy channel Jose Mourinho's latest outburst.'

Children playing football.

Football team discussions.

Woman watches football match played by a mug of tea, salt pot and ketchup bottle, she says to husband: 'Your explanation of the offside rule was spot on.'

Input From The Front Office

"Well I didn't see the incident myself.."

'The bad news is you failed all your courses. The good news is you passed the urine test.'

The best goalie in the world!

"If you think it's tough at this level, kid, wait until you get into calculus."

"This guy's a terrific defensive lineman. I once saw him chase down a quakerback for nearly 40 yards before sacking him. It was in a shopping mall, but still..."

'The Wilsons picked up a quarterback in the off-season. The Riveras picked up a quarterback. The Ludwigs picked up a quaterback...'

American Football.