Football Management Gifts

Kenny Dalglish

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

The MBA Draft

Go team!

'Another football scholarship offer?'

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

'We need you to get onto those high balls coming over'

Even good cholesterol can develop an unhealthy sports addiction...

Football

"I'm not using my jumper as a goalpost, sir, I'm using it as a jumper."

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"

'What are we, wimps? Are we gonna let a bunch of rabbits push us all over the field? Come on, big guys.'

Good luck tonight, xoxo, Coach.

'Maybe we should sign him before the MVP award is announced.'

United Football Club: In, Out, VAR.

'This new game isn't working out -- the ball keeps running away.'

'We're looking for athletic people.'

"This crucial pre-game drill keeps you focused and eliminates distractions!"

'They're being damn noisy in the hospitality box next door,'

'Verheyen! How many times have I told you? Don't let your personal life affect your play on the court.'

The Hockey World

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

'Fergie quits - chewing gum sales hit all time low!'

"Whaddya want for nineteen mil?"

'I've never seen so many strikers in one team before.'

So far the coaching exchange program was hitting a few snags.

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

'And now on the comedy channel Jose Mourinho's latest outburst.'

Football team discussions.

Woman watches football match played by a mug of tea, salt pot and ketchup bottle, she says to husband: 'Your explanation of the offside rule was spot on.'

Input From The Front Office

"Well I didn't see the incident myself.."

"As the new head coach, my first move will be to blow up the entire roster."