Football Executive Gifts

Wigton Town F.C. - Board Room.

THE GLAZERS PLAYING SUBBUTEO: "Now flick no5 for me, Jenkins."

Oakland Raiders, Al Davis.

FIFA

Golfing Boss

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

Kenny Dalglish

Egyptian Football

Gold Medal for IOC boss Thomas Bach in the discipline of Brown-Nosing-Dictators-For-Money.

'And now on the comedy channel Jose Mourinho's latest outburst.'

'Fergie quits - chewing gum sales hit all time low!'

Input From The Front Office

"Well I didn't see the incident myself.."

'You haven't heard the best thing. . .no referees.'

'Good news from the field, sire! Attila did not like the referee's call, so he's folding up his tents, taking his ball and going home!'

'It looks suspiciously like Killer Hart is taking a dive!'

The Unsportables: Javelin Throw

Ernesto Valverde Tejedor

'The only thing exciting about these games is our dads fighting with the umpire.'

Jocko, a man for all sports' seasons.

Jose Mourinho & Roman Abramovich Caricature.

Pole Vault Rules

"Compromise? What the hell is there between safe and out?"

'That was a flagrant misconduct of the left hand.'

'I finished last, but I was the only one who passed the drug test.'

'Blimey, boss - that's a bit revolutionary, isn't it?'

'Now what?!'

Carlo Ancelotti

'Are referees black with white stripes or white with black stripes?'

'This is not what I meant by a free kick.'

'When Einstein wrote about time and relativity he must have been watching a football game where the last 30 seconds took two hours.'

"Are you sure he tested negative?"

'Honest, sir. I'm sorry! I take it all back.'

Jose Mourinho

Football fans discuss a deceased manager: A giant, a legend, much loved. Didn't we sack him?