University Coach Pillows

"Writing about your community service is good, but I would play down the court-ordered part."

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

"Good game."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

I like the Jets...I guess

"Those aren't coconuts, they're tennis balls." "Sweet mother of Novak Djokovic!" The island of lost tennis balls.

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

Reach for the Star.

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

'I love your cardiovascular system!'

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

Old navy veteran 3rd base coach

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

Oscar would laugh whenever he recalled his empty existence before golf.

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

Go team!

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

"I hate performance review season."

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

"We first met on the net. We began to court, but between my foul mouth and Wilson being on the rebound...let's just say it was a long shot, but he pressed, and I was defenseless. Now, we're as 'hoopy' as can be."

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

Punt Cake

Go! Means NOW!

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'

Time Is Money

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

"I AM at my usual position."

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

The trauma of losing.

"College basketball recruiters are after him."