Baby Sports Trainer Gifts

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

Dog Walking Services

I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.

"Any questions?"

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

"I'm not sure about this new trainee - he asked me when does he get to see the actual ropes."

How to deliver a successful presentation.

"Any questions?"

'One of the new targets is targeting which targets we're meant to target.'

"He's such a fussy eater."

Football

'We need you to get onto those high balls coming over'

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"

"To be clear, I said I want your 'A' game, not your 'Eh?' game."

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

Perils of the double play.

"I don't actually talk, I just mimic sounds."

Hanging off every word...

"I believe I can create a great presentation if I can only tap into my cognitive dissonance."

'I'm wrapping it tightly to keep the ankle from swelling.'

Quality Control

"The GOOD news is that 94 people want to attend the leadership training, the bad news is that 64 of them want to change the venue, 56 the time and 45 want to be course leader."

"This round, forget the finesse. Hit him."

'First of all, relax.'

'Let's go! Let's go! Hustle! ...Relatively speaking.'

"Try not to think of them just as a 'customer' but rather as your only chance of paying your mortgage and putting food on your plate."