Starting Medication Gifts

"The tiny one treats the symptoms. The big one treats the side effects."

'I'm going to prescribe a new diabetic medication. It's a bit costly. I'll start you off with fifty dollars a week.'

'Taking anti-depressants is getting me down...'

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

"I've always dreamed of being on an academic team like this! It's great that we can all depend on each other!"

'When I grow up, I want to be a hydraulic engineer...'

"You're very interesting, for a civilian."

"Where else in the world would you get such wonderful sunsets?"

'Look, you can only do so much!'

'My reading comprehension is so-so, but I do make up for it with my highlighting skills.'

'Does this have anything to do with Einstein's theory of relativity?'

Licensed Therapist

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

"I dunno, I guess I just don't believe in myself anymore."

"When I grow up, I'm writing the Great American App."

"I got a gold star for going the longest without looking at my phone in class."

"My answers could be right. Your quiz just asked the wrong questions."

"There's something weird about Emily. She actually likes school!"

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

"Abstract Expressionism is definitely right for me at this stage of my career."

"It's no my fault I got a D. The system is broken."

'In school today, we learned about endangered species.'

'I couldn't do my term paper because they've never made a movie about Rutherford B. Hayes.'

'X is unknown? Even to somebody with all your education?'

Culture Saturday

'Are you sure I should read my book report to the class? --�It's PG-13.'

"So, you say I'll be doubling the numbers of animals I kill?"

Being and Nothingness Pop-Up! (book)

'What a drive! Our boy's going to go a long, long way.'

"You're such a good listener."

"I'll bet all of Albert Einstein's teachers felt like idiots for giving him bad grades too."

'My imaginary playmate can whip your imaginary playmate!'