Starting Medical Treatment Gifts

'Doc, before you jab it to me, what's the sticker price?'

'Look, you can only do so much!'

Licensed Therapist

"I dunno, I guess I just don't believe in myself anymore."

"Postwar is hell."

(When I'm good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm... Well….) (Horrid?)

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

"Perhaps later on we can go back to my psychiatrist's office for some couples therapy?"

Window Treatment

Steamed Room: "Man, I feel so much lighter."

Clown Cheering Up Patient.

'You'll be able to lead a normal life after the operation -- except, of course, for your enormous medical bills.'

'Thanks, but I don't expect you to chew my food for me.'

'The way we met was interesting. I opened my wallet and there she was!'

"The first step is admitting you're a dog."

Psychiatrist says: 'Oh, no! Not another fruit cake?'

'Those fish-oil treatments doing your arthritis any good?'

'No, I'm sorry, Danny. I'm afraid your dad won't be able to shoot laser beams from his eyes after surgery.'

'You again? You know it's called a mid-life crisis, not mid-week!'

"I hear he's taking an experimental drug called, 'It Ain't Over Till It's Over.'"

"I told the doctor about my problems with anxiety and burnout and he wrote me a prescription for me an one for himself."

"Trust me. This is going to make it easier to discuss your childhood."

"Hon, do you think it's time you took a break from the light therapy lamp?"

"You must learn to let go."

"Dad—will the heroine go into rehab?"

It's A Breeze

'I think you've managed learning to cope almost too well.'

'You've come a long way with your anger this year. In fact, I feel that you are ready to meet a special friend of mine...'

I'm ridiculously small. My nose is huge. I have ears like a jackass... Manic depressive with low elf esteem.

'The surgery is expensive. We'll have to numb you from the wallet down.'

"You'll never be a full participant in your mental health care if you keep saying wacky things."

"Today we're going to talk about lowering the drawbridge."

"Why do you feel like you're lost?"