Receiving Treatment Gifts

'Have you been taking your medicine every day?'

Bob had to confront his fear of butterflies.

Express Barber Chair for Chemo Patients

"Instead of years of therapy, I decided to go for chocolate."

Large Emoticon Collider

My Brother Al once went through a period of depression, your honor. He would just sit around in his robe all day. Then his psychiatrist got him out of his funk. Would you like to have his doctor's phone number? ? ?

Clown Cheering Up Patient.

'You'll be able to lead a normal life after the operation -- except, of course, for your enormous medical bills.'

'We never go anywhere together except here.'

'Occasionally the Dr. asks me to get real with people.'

'Thanks, but I don't expect you to chew my food for me.'

'Those fish-oil treatments doing your arthritis any good?'

'No, I'm sorry, Danny. I'm afraid your dad won't be able to shoot laser beams from his eyes after surgery.'

"I hear he's taking an experimental drug called, 'It Ain't Over Till It's Over.'"

Emotional Support Pest

"I did seize the day. But then it seized me right back and used some kind of jujitsu move to flip me on my ass."

'Good news, Mr. Blume! Your condition isn't serious - just expensive.'

'The surgery is expensive. We'll have to numb you from the wallet down.'

'I wasn't responding well to the pills but my doctor finally got my mood stabilized.'

'My work-lifestyle balance is shot, I'm either working or I'm dead!'

He was out in no time, with a new outlook and a clean slate.

'Dinner in tumble dryer - gone to see therapist!'

Pastor to couple: 'It is more blessed to forgive than to receive.'

'I don't know which health issue should concern me more - the voices in my head or the fact that I need a hearing aid to hear them.'

What brings you to therapy, Rudy? Dr. Noodle. I've been feeling like my whole life is on pause. And I can't find the remote to unpause it. Meanwhile, everyone else's stories are proceeding apace. They're all into the second act already. They've all had plot twists, and hero's journeys, and epic love scenes, and thrilling reversals of fortune ... Meanwhile, I'm still paused on the opening credits because no remote. Why don't you get up off the couch and unpause it manually? You can do that?

'You can't keep rescuing him. If he really wants help, book him an appointment.'

"I'm in for observation."

Man to other coming out of Alternative Health Club: 'I had total joint replacement - they switched me from hemp to medical marijuana.'

Flo discovered that one of the perks of cancer was that even reluctant friends were willing to give her foot massages,

Seeing the marriage counselor.

Flo figured that since she was using medical marijuana during chemo, she might as well go hippy retro.

"I'm used to him finishing my sentences, but now he starts them, too."

Flo discovered that one perk of cancer is that people treat her like a queen.

"I just want to get back into the swing of things."

"Yes, I have experience. I've been divorced two times."