Awaiting Treatment Gifts

'I'm not a visitor - just next in line for that bed when you've done with it.'

Late BroomStick

Express Barber Chair for Chemo Patients

"Instead of years of therapy, I decided to go for chocolate."

Waiting for Pants

'We never go anywhere together except here.'

'Occasionally the Dr. asks me to get real with people.'

Test your patience, back in one hour.

'Those fish-oil treatments doing your arthritis any good?'

'A representative will be with you in twelve minutes... so, if you have to go to the bathroom, please go now...'

Emotional Support Pest

'Funny, I thought a near-death experience would be different, somehow.'

"I hear he's taking an experimental drug called, 'It Ain't Over Till It's Over.'"

"I did seize the day. But then it seized me right back and used some kind of jujitsu move to flip me on my ass."

'I suppose the word 'patient' is used because that's what you have to be!'

'Good news, Mr. Blume! Your condition isn't serious - just expensive.'

"Wanna play 'Waitin’ on the Cable Guy'?"

'After the age of fifty the 'c' word always means colonoscopy.'

'Have you been taking your medicine every day?'

'My work-lifestyle balance is shot, I'm either working or I'm dead!'

He was out in no time, with a new outlook and a clean slate.

'Dinner in tumble dryer - gone to see therapist!'

Flo discovered that one of the perks of cancer was that even reluctant friends were willing to give her foot massages,

Pastor to couple: 'It is more blessed to forgive than to receive.'

'You can't keep rescuing him. If he really wants help, book him an appointment.'

"Coffee?! After 20 minutes of waiting, I'm FULLY awake without one."

'I don't know which health issue should concern me more - the voices in my head or the fact that I need a hearing aid to hear them.'

The interminable!

Flo figured that since she was using medical marijuana during chemo, she might as well go hippy retro.

Flo discovered that one perk of cancer is that people treat her like a queen.

'At this rate nine months is going to take forever.'

"I'm used to him finishing my sentences, but now he starts them, too."

"I just want to get back into the swing of things."