Anticipating Patient Gifts

'Do you offer transcend dental medication?'

'No, Mr. Simmons, your MR images aren't in yet. We have older equipment, which takes a little longer to process.'

'Who wants to be examined first?'

'It's nothing that a few stem cells and 75 years of research can't fix.'

'Bored?'

Radiology, Cardiology and Fertility Clinic.

"Only four more weeks before school is out...and then we're free for the time of our lives!"

'I'm an extremely general practitioner.'

'Yeah. Yeah... Wolf, girl, grandma. I got the picture.'

'Your test results are in - and here's a first, the Lab Techs have asked to meet you.'

"And that was just your sudoku chart."

'Admit it,you've been bothering the nurses again,haven't you?

"And more intriguingly, your prognosis differs depending on which search engine I use."

'Where'd he go, nurse?'

'At this rate nine months is going to take forever.'

"Hi! My name is Dr. Jenkins and welcome to 'This is your disease'."

Taking blood pressure

Bureaucracy (Murphy's law)

'I asked you for one good reason why I should follow your advice, not six.'

"If you don't wish to hear the match result look away now."

"I guess I've got the spirit in me!"

Expect delays.

Suspense

Hoping for a boy or girl?

Dentistry jokes.

Some patients may want to know more than others.

'It started with a headache, but not I've got a bedsore from sitting so long in this waiting room!'

"Anticipation. Anticipation. Anticipation. Anticipation. Yee haw! Nostalgia. Nostalgia. Nostalgia. Old age. Shoot."

"So tell me doc, what's new and exciting in pharmacology these days?".

"Have you considered spinal fusion?"

'It's just a routine operation, Mr. Bush. No need to have your lawyer present.'

"Tell me if this hurts."

"<groan>...School ends in four weeks."

'You'll get wet. Why don't you use your new umbrella?'

"This is the patient, doctor..."