Anticipating Patient Gifts

'Do you offer transcend dental medication?'

'No, Mr. Simmons, your MR images aren't in yet. We have older equipment, which takes a little longer to process.'

'Who wants to be examined first?'

'It's nothing that a few stem cells and 75 years of research can't fix.'

'Bored?'

Radiology, Cardiology and Fertility Clinic.

"Only four more weeks before school is out...and then we're free for the time of our lives!"

'I'm an extremely general practitioner.'

'Yeah. Yeah... Wolf, girl, grandma. I got the picture.'

'Your test results are in - and here's a first, the Lab Techs have asked to meet you.'

"And that was just your sudoku chart."

'Admit it,you've been bothering the nurses again,haven't you?

"And more intriguingly, your prognosis differs depending on which search engine I use."

'At this rate nine months is going to take forever.'

'Where'd he go, nurse?'

"Hi! My name is Dr. Jenkins and welcome to 'This is your disease'."

Bureaucracy (Murphy's law)

'I asked you for one good reason why I should follow your advice, not six.'

Taking blood pressure

"I guess I've got the spirit in me!"

"If you don't wish to hear the match result look away now."

Expect delays.

Suspense

Hoping for a boy or girl?

"So tell me doc, what's new and exciting in pharmacology these days?".

'It started with a headache, but not I've got a bedsore from sitting so long in this waiting room!'

Dentistry jokes.

'It's just a routine operation, Mr. Bush. No need to have your lawyer present.'

"Have you considered spinal fusion?"

Some patients may want to know more than others.

"Anticipation. Anticipation. Anticipation. Anticipation. Yee haw! Nostalgia. Nostalgia. Nostalgia. Old age. Shoot."

"Tell me if this hurts."

'You'll get wet. Why don't you use your new umbrella?'

"My complaint is RARE? - y'mean none of my friends have it?"

"<groan>...School ends in four weeks."