Expectant Observer Gifts

Womb with a View

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

'He's more supportive after his nap.'

"Pastor, may we share a message with you about humility?"

'Mom is feeling sick. She caught a baby.'

"'Routine examination' were the only two words in the doctor's mind when he placed the stethoscope on..."

'I've had some strange cravings during my pregnancy. Such as the one to strangle my husband.'

"I'm more of an 'I like to watch' dog."

Chess on TV

'You cant do anything these days without someone suspecting your motives. . . there is only one way out. . . inaction.'

Astronomers using giant telescope to light fires.

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- it's hard to believe we're related.'

'Do you offer transcend dental medication?'

"So, the inevitable sequel."

"I suppose it should be enough that I heard it."

Iraq War inquiry denied secret Bush-Blair documents.

'Serves me right for frowning.'

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'Baby trying to break out'

'That's the most extreme linear nigra I've ever seen!!'

'Going bald isn't all bad - just think, you'll never have dandruff again!'

'I love my obstetrician! He brings out the kid in me!'

"Please do not feed the animals." "Please do not eat the people."

The artist

Hello- I'm a Wreck.

Same Sexless Marriage

How humans are born.

Pregnant Women buy Clown Clothes because they fit.

"Being transferred to days isn't a promotion for an astronomer, you idiot!"

"My comfort zone is some distance away from the brink but close enough to see competitors go over it."

'If this doctor can't keep up with the latest magazines, how can he keep up with the latest medical journals?'

"You shouldn't try for enlightenment if you are pregnant or may become pregnant."

'We lost everything - hot dogs, popcorn, game programs, an order of nachos. Got out of our seats with just the clothes on our backs, but we're both OK, and that's what matters most.'

"If you do not wish to know the results look away now..."

People people and the people behind them.