Skeptical Observer Gifts

"You don't look like a hurricane victim to me."

'If caller ID shows our number, it's just a tricky telemarketer...but in case I'm wrong you'd better answer to see what you want.'

'Everything's gonna be great!' 'I'd never trust a politician who wasn't willing to lie to me!'

'Now, this placebo is recommened by four out of five doctors.'

"You're not fooling me again, buddy, I gave you money for a coffee last week. . . and I'm still waiting for it!"

"You have to believe what you're doing will lead to something valuable, even though it probably won't."

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

"Let's face it. The only play you've ever liked is 'Stop the World - I Want to Get Off.'"

"Imagine if only 1/2 the companies that claimed to have a great culture actually did."

A political promise is intended to be a golden egg...Which is kept in a pork barrel and after an election...Hatches into a dead duck before...it turns invisible so it can quietly vanish.

'Personally I can't see anything wrong with GM crops!'

The Three Kinds of People

The lunar landing of Appollo 11 is shown as a hoax filmed in a studio.

Community church - the home of religion lite - Sermon: 'Atheism? You may be right!'

Conspiracy Theory Bookstore: JFK, Princess Di, and Osama Bin Laden.

"Let's try to think of something that untold millions of people will buy."

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

Flat-earthers and round-earthers reach a compromise.

Scientific Research: 'Uh...why'd it take'em 20 yeahs t' figyah that out?'

"Why do I hate religion? Imagine if half the money ever donated to religion had instead been used for scientific research. That's the world religion stole from me! Instead of worrying about the coronavirus, I could be slaying orcs on a starship's holodeck!"

Attorney At Law: Today's special - Bankruptcy and Divorce. Two for the price of one.

'No, I don't believe in life after birth. When you're born, you're born!'

'You cant do anything these days without someone suspecting your motives. . . there is only one way out. . . inaction.'

Dirty Tricks Dept.

"If the press brings up your past just double down on 'The sky is falling!'."

"If we can put a man on the moon, why can't we admit that the moon landing was a big conspiracy?"

"If it takes the GMC 20 years to spot a rogue surgeon what chance have you got in 20 minutes?"

Swami Trevor's Brotherhood of Celestial Enlightenment

Cemetery with graves engraved 'traditional medicine' and 'alternative medicine'.

"The sky isn't really falling -- I'm just trying to make a living."

The conspiracy behind conspiracy theories.

'If this isn't a placebo you gave me, how come it says 'M&M' on it?'

"I suppose it should be enough that I heard it."

"You're not gonna stick that thing in my arm..! Nobody knows what's in it!!"

'So you say, 'Tom, how do I become filthy rich?' Why, that's easy. By scamming others the way I'm about to scam you.'