Starting Fresh Gifts

"This year I resolve to embrace change."

"It takes years before some people are comfortable enough to say hello."

"Planning a few changed for the new year?"

"Let's do it! Let's move to Nicaragua!"

"That's right. We're moving to the 'formerly' lucky country."

'It's over Tom. You're too clingy.'

'Yes, I need to move: I'm starting to have a reputation on the bachelor scene here...'

Always empty your fridge before starting a diet.

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

"Ahh... don't you just LOVE that new, re-organized-under-bankruptcy-protection smell?"

Garlic Free Zone.

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

'I won't tell my thighs if you don't..'

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

"Don't you worry about me. I always land on my feet."

''Exercise'? -- But I hate to eat and run!'

"Let's go to sleep so that when we wake up today will be tomorrow."

"Ack! This stuff's hard to eat!"

Wishing Well

Joe's Weight Gain: 'Hey, Victoria...I like this diet you told me about yesterday...I just lost 2 more while we've been talking.'

'I don't want you to give up eating entirely -- just the food part.'

"Strictly organic ingredients section or Russian roulette with genetically modified foods section?"

'Look! A rock hard body in 90 days!'

'Oh, for heaven sake, Emily. . . stop cheating and just go on a diet like everyone else!!!'

"OK, I think we're pretty much back to square one. You can stop now."

'Hundreds of years of medical progress, and all you can tell me to do is eat less?'

'For gods sake get back, there's a triple chocolate fudge cake in there!'

"Tell me again how well your low sodium diet is going."

'I know dieting requires a change of lifestyle, Helen, but this is ridiculous!'

'What we have here is a hostage situation - There's a thin person inside you screaming to get out.'

'We're starting a new diet today -- do you want your tofu scrambled or fried?'

"I try to watch what I eat, but my eyes aren't what they used to be."

"Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life."

Woman stands on scales, holds bunch of balloons.