Starting Fatherhood Journey Gifts

"Okay, I'll change your diaper, but you better not tell any of my patients."

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

"This is a great spot to practice mighty roars son..."

Batman at the Maternity Ward

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

'He has your nose and my ears.'

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

"Can I have another sausage Dad?"

L'il Buckaroo on Board.

'I know one of my shoulders is lower than the other. It's because my father's guiding hand is always on that shoulder.'

"Remember now, anything is DIY-abe if you just do it yourself."

'What has twelve legs and barks?'

"WHich one is mine?"

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"

A baby playing on a grand piano

"I miss the Augean stables."

Growth Charts

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

Food deliverer's baby.

"I don't know...sometimes I think I don't spend enough time with them. What kind of role model am I?"

"That's mine!"

"So last Christmas it was those Cabbage Patch Kids."

Dad Trophies

"Which end does the diaper go on 'cause there's stuff comin' out of both of 'em!"

My daddy ate my homework

"Please doctor, hit him again. I need to get that ring-tone."

'You've got the Vietnam 1000 yard stare. All new parents get it!'

'Do you have any books on controlling little monsters?'

"Skip the funny voices tonight—O.K., Dad?"

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

'It's only 6 AM, but I want to send the kids to Wally's house before his mother sends him over here.'

Roger Buffle Jr. supplies his father with yet another computer password.

'I want to give my children all the things I never had. Then move in with them.'

"I knew we agreed that you could be a stay-at-home dad, but that's when we decide to have children."

'Here comes the Papa-razzi again...'