Fatherhood Experience Gifts

'How many times have I said never to leave any dangerous things in reach of the baby... Things like knifes or forks... Or Asparagus sticks!'

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

"This is a great spot to practice mighty roars son..."

Batman at the Maternity Ward

Weekday Morning Hell Bingo

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

Chez Nous Menu

'He has your nose and my ears.'

'I'm keeping a scrap book. All I've got so far is one umbilical cord.'

1847 - Bram Stoker, creator of Dracula was born in Dublin.

"Can I have another sausage Dad?"

"Congratulations. It's a chick."

'I know one of my shoulders is lower than the other. It's because my father's guiding hand is always on that shoulder.'

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."

L'il Buckaroo on Board.

"Remember now, anything is DIY-abe if you just do it yourself."

'What has twelve legs and barks?'

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

"I don't know...sometimes I think I don't spend enough time with them. What kind of role model am I?"

Growth Charts

A baby playing on a grand piano

Food deliverer's baby.

"That's mine!"

A Mix Up Between the Buggy and Lawn Mower.

"So last Christmas it was those Cabbage Patch Kids."

Dad Trophies

"I miss the Augean stables."

"The only problem with living at the top of a mountain is the constant stream of people coming to ask stupid questions."

'You've got the Vietnam 1000 yard stare. All new parents get it!'

"Please doctor, hit him again. I need to get that ring-tone."

My daddy ate my homework

"We both see Ben as this summer's breakout child."

"Skip the funny voices tonight—O.K., Dad?"