Fatherhood Journey Gifts

Reading the Riot Act.

'Good news dear, the doctor says we're going to have twins.'

'Don't try so hard . . . I want a dad, not a homey!. . .'

"I'll get you a drink of water, but next time, call Dad, not room service."

A baby playing on a grand piano

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

"This is a great spot to practice mighty roars son..."

Batman at the Maternity Ward

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

'He has your nose and my ears.'

"Can I have another sausage Dad?"

'What has twelve legs and barks?'

L'il Buckaroo on Board.

"WHich one is mine?"

'I know one of my shoulders is lower than the other. It's because my father's guiding hand is always on that shoulder.'

"Remember now, anything is DIY-abe if you just do it yourself."

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"

"That's mine!"

"It may not look like it to you, but trust me, he's hyperactive. It's exhausting!"

Growth Charts

"Please doctor, hit him again. I need to get that ring-tone."

"Skip the funny voices tonight—O.K., Dad?"

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

My daddy ate my homework

'It's only 6 AM, but I want to send the kids to Wally's house before his mother sends him over here.'

'You've got the Vietnam 1000 yard stare. All new parents get it!'

'Do you have any books on controlling little monsters?'

Roger Buffle Jr. supplies his father with yet another computer password.

'Think about it guys: We're fed and sheltered, why would we ever think about leaving the nest?'

"I knew we agreed that you could be a stay-at-home dad, but that's when we decide to have children."

'Here comes the Papa-razzi again...'

'I want to give my children all the things I never had. Then move in with them.'

'Son, the world is ripe for the taking ... you better stay home with me.'

Skateboard

"Mommy! Mommy! Daddy lost!"