Starting Expat Life Gifts

Somewhere In France...The Watsons have just discovered that English is not the universal language after all.

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

'Nobody ever before had took much notice of Granny's homemade flour-sack bloomers.'

Rubbish Carousel

'We like to spend 51 weeks of the year at our Florida holiday home...'

Emigrating to France.

"In the spirit of compromise, Canada is willing to offer any state of the United States, sanctuary if they wish to secede."

'My husband, Bill, works at the airport - I still haven't opened my birthday presents from three years ago.'

"Our immigration lawyer is now living in Guatemala."

After purchasing a smartphone with advanced GPS, Mitch pinpoints his current location and realizes that within the past 25 years he had never really moved one inch in either direction.

On today's Ask Sadie Radio Hour, we discuss one topic: the constant flirtation with fleeing to Canada. Canada has universal health insurance, far fewer killings, much less bigotry, more social mobility, better schools, less obesity, 50 weeks maternity leave, blah blah blah. But that means nothing, because you know what they don't have? Panicky media telling you who to blame for the sky falling! We'll be back, after this message from Depends Undergarments.

I wanted to holiday at home...But in Spain.

'They gave me a choice...they would either off-shore my job, or I could keep my job if I moved to India.'

'Back in 1956 you were the youngest Briton to cover the Hungarian uprising. You are presently writing your memoirs in Sardinia. First question: how do you feel about the sorry state the London Underground is in?'

Pension planning for Brexit

"Hard to believe that school's almost over."

'Welcome to America'

A Sudden Transfer To The Tokyo Office

Half French/half English.

English man in Australia during christmas

'You can't find a job?... Have you tried Asia?'

Somewhere in France: Reilly has become more French than the French themselves.

'I see that you're a fully integrated immigrant to this country.'

External Revenue Service

'There are those who say that in America the streets are paved with excrement.'

"Please remember to check for any personal problems you may have left behind."

'There's no point in arguing with him, sir he doesn't speak English.'

'Then put me on the No-Fly list if you can't put me in first class!'

Baggage Claim: Anyone Who Knows How To Hot-Wire A Car.

"What's full English breakfast in Spanish?"

Hope

Big Name Foreign Rugby Players Are Going Home.

I"m living the American dream in Beijing.

Emigration towards alemania.

PERSONNEL, 'Our retirement plan is that we try to get you Swedish citizenship.'